Dilemmas

We had our childbirth class today and I'm feeling a little conflicted. On one hand, I wish I didn't have to wait 2 1/2 more months for the baby to be here. I'd like to meet her now! I'd like to move into the next stage of my life. I feel like I'm totally in limbo. This is partially caused by the fact that I really have no idea (but many worries) about the future of my job and career. And then the prospect of 2 more months of back pain, sleeping difficulties, anemia, tiredness, and worries about the baby's health without being able to do anything or really knowing what's going on with the baby is discouraging. But mostly it's just that we have waited so long to have this baby - I'm ready for it to happen now! (and as Jim will tell you, I don't have patience for anything).

This doesn't mean that I'm wishing for a pre-term labor. I'm absolutely not wishing for that. I heard about this woman who had her baby at 24 weeks. I'm at 29 weeks now, so wow. I can't even imagine that. The baby survived but has about a million medical problems. So none of that. I want a healthy baby.

On the other side of the coin is this childbirth class today. Let me tell you, hearing about childbirth is awfully scary. A tiny bit of me would like to send the baby back where she came from. :) We saw the requisite video and heard about all the different scenarios. Yikes. I suppose that you just deal with it when it happens, like you do with all of life's other hurdles, but I'm scared. Like, what if my body doesn't recover from the labor? What if the baby gets stuck? Etc. Etc.

So there it is. Probably rather normal conflicts. I guess I'll have to treat myself to some (vegetarian) sushi to deal. :)